5 mistakes men make as new parents
When I became a parent, I was as confused as any other man. Every other minute I looked at people around me to give me some advice on how to deal with the situation at hand. Not knowing enough lead me to make a few mistakes. Here, I share a few mistakes that men make as new parents.
Non-acceptance
Let’s be clear, there is no going back to your old life anymore. Most men take a long time to accept this. I too took a lot of time to get into the mould. Accepting that you are a man with the responsibility of a newborn is the very first step towards being a good father. Being a father means you take to every task that comes your way without any hesitation. The next few years are going to be tough but the most adorable. You will be able to shape a life the way you always wanted. Accept that you are a father. The rest of the journey will feel like a cakewalk then.
Not managing money
You knew this already. But never cared enough. Fix it now. Things spiral out of control for the first few years with a kid. Stuff that you never thought you would be spending on will become part of your daily or monthly expense. The best way to sort this is by having a list of the expenses or have a ballpark figure of your monthly expenses at least. This is way better than being completely in the dark. Earlier, I had written about the stuff that first-time fathers must know which also included a monthly expense template for first-time fathers with all the possible expenses. Take the template as a lead and build on it. Thank me already.
Not spending time with the baby
This was my first mistake. Following the Indian tradition, I had sent my baby and wife to my in-laws with me visiting every weekend for the next few months. Little did I know this would give me many anxious days as a new parent. I noticed that my weekend visits were not evoking the “excited to see my dad” response from my baby. This is when I realised not spending time with her was the biggest sin I had committed. Right after, we were all together and I started giving more attention to my little one. The response was immediate. Babies know who you are. You must be “available” as a mother told me.
Not doing baby chores
If you thought only mom or a someone will do all the baby chores, you are going to have a damn hard time as a father. You will not only get eyeballs from your wife but also certainly be a nuisance during emergencies. Plus, you are setting a bad example for every man around you who is on his way to becoming a father. Learn to change nappies, bathe, feed and be available to do anything for your baby. This is one of the best ways to connect with your kiddo. You will know each other better. Most importantly, it will make life easier for your entire family.
Taking advice from everyone
In my last podcast, I had spoken about how new parents get advice from everyone around them. Unfortunately, there is no getting away from this. My advice on taking advice? Hear some, leave most. No one has published a whitepaper on “How to become the perfect father” and is not going to. Be sure to ask for help whenever you need it. Just as your baby, you too will take baby steps towards becoming better as a father every day. Just be present and time will do the rest for you.
So, what are some mistakes you made as a father? Share them in the comments section.
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